Parenting Guide | How to get your child to cooperate?

by Lillian Reekie

July 11, 2022


Typically when it comes to parenting, we all want our children to behave. We want to instil them with good values and create functional and competent adults. When it comes to shaping behaviour and curtailing problem behaviour it's an instinct to shout or give a stern look to force cooperation from your child. As a parent, it can seem as though you are the authority and your child should cooperate with you at all times. However, when instilling this message in your child you are creating a negative seed that will sprout when a child is 12 years old and if they are bright this can be even earlier. You are therefore creating a revolting child as a result of your actions and interaction with your child. Children are a reflection of your actions and can only give back what you put in. 

If you are experiencing a frustrating or difficult interaction with your child it is most likely a result of the approach you have used for numerous years which has created the present situation. Luckily, the Parent Support Network has created an easy to follow 4 step parenting guide to help all parents that are currently struggling.

parent guiding child on bike

4 Step Parenting Guide

Step 1

To get your child to do what you want to do talk to them. You consult them, you ask for their opinion, and what they agree to, what their wants are and what their solutions are. It's a friendly conversation and you let them finish what they are saying so they can participate in solving the problem.

Step 2

You don't argue which is a one way conversation in which one person is proven wrong and the other is right. 

Step 3

Take the time to consult with your child and understand their intention.

Step 4

Treat the child with dignity and respect like a queen or a king. You don't assume the child is unhealthy, immoral, or ignorant.

Key Points of the Parenting Guide

By communicating with your child and providing space for their opinions to be heard you are instilling confidence in the child's ability to project their feelings. You are also setting them up to be self-sufficient. After all the aim is to gain cooperation from your child, not a docile obedient person. There is no shortcut to getting your child to do what you want them to do. When in doubt think back to this parenting guide and remind yourself to use love and tolerance when handling your child. Just sit down and talk to your child. Get rid of all the nagging, intolerance and disrespect and treat children like they are adults.

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About the author 

Lillian Reekie  -  A Parenting Strategist with over 20+ years experience. I've been helping parents, carers and teachers to improve their relationships with their children. Through applying effective parenting techniques I have seen first hand the impact this has on families. My aim is to share this knowledge and transform as many parents, teachers and carers as possible. If you wish to have a chat or talk about your parenting issues I am always available by phone or alternatively email. 

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