Are You Parenting Upside Down?

by Lillian Reekie

March 31, 2022


As Parents, we all want the best for our children. We all want great relationships, cooperation, and mutual respect, Right? In this article we provide practical parenting advice which will change the way you look at how to parent. We cover a simple and effective technique to use that will transform your child's behaviour. In my 35+ years as a Parent of 2 sons and 28 years with an intense and challenging child, I sure have learnt a thing or two! Although I am a trained teacher with a Bachelor of Arts in Education, my most prized accomplishment is a pseudo degree, I call TTP (Tried and Tested Parenting). 

I came to realise when my second son was born that traditional parenting methods passed on from prior generations did NOT work! With the very best of intentions and love in our heart most of us are parenting and relation-shipping upside down. With a large range of parenting help information online, it can be overwhelming to know where to begin. That is why I have dedicated my life to providing actionable parenting tips and this guide is just one of the numerous techniques I share with my clients when helping them get back on track.

The Nurtured Heart Approach

When our youngest son was 15, we met a parenting coach who transformed our lives. His parenting advice was unique and it changed our perspective on how we communicated with our son. He was in a place that was most parent’s nightmare. Although we were good, loving parents who wanted the best for our children, we didn’t know what we didn’t know! All of our relationships were strained to the maximum and his dad and I were in danger of totally losing our son to the very negative cycle he was in. Then in stepped, Frank! Frank taught us the power of our words and how we were energising what we were communicating. 

Our thinking was further flipped in 2013 when I was introduced to the ‘Nurtured Heart Approach’ (NHA) This aligned and mirrored what we learnt from Frank. In 2014, I became a certified trainer and in 2021 I upgraded to become an Advanced Trainer. It is now my absolute passion to share parenting advice with families. When we think about the way we relationship and communicate with our kids; and let’s be honest, when do we give the MOST energy?

Changing Your Parenting Approach 

When do we come most to life as our children’s favourite toys with bells and whistles flashing and most energised? If your children are being cooperative, listening, respectful, following rules, playing nicely etc. we might give then what we call ‘junk food’ praise. “Good job”, “Well done”, “Thank you”.

But when they misbehave, break the rules, are uncooperative, fighting or arguing that’s when we come MOST to life! That’s when all the bells and whistles give off the most connected and juiciest energy and connection. This is where we say to our children "Muck up and you get more of me, more relationship, more time and connection". Then the kids come to learn I get MORE relationship and connection when I do the wrong thing and so much less when I behave! Then we as parents wonder WHY our children keep seeking attention and relationship in negative ways! This is one of the most best parenting strategies to use as you will start to notice changes in your child's behaviour when you change when you give your child healthy praise.

Key Takeaway

So, the moral to this story is always energise and ask for what you really want. (whilst NOT giving attention to what you don’t want). Flip the upside-down energy right side up and focus it on what you want to grow more of. Flip the switch and positively reinforce the pattern of behaviour you want. After-all you wouldn’t go round watering all the weeds in your garden!

4.7/5 - (18 votes)

About the author 

Lillian Reekie  -  A Parenting Strategist with over 20+ years experience. I've been helping parents, carers and teachers to improve their relationships with their children. Through applying effective parenting techniques I have seen first hand the impact this has on families. My aim is to share this knowledge and transform as many parents, teachers and carers as possible. If you wish to have a chat or talk about your parenting issues I am always available by phone or alternatively email. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}